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 Jakob stood in the kitchen, warming a tortilla in a skillet, turning it over and letting it heat for another few seconds. Dillon stood off of the kitchen as Ziggy strode in, holding out a plate for his father to place the tortilla on, and began filling it with shredded beef, and a number of topics.

“Would you like this next one, Dillon?” Jakob asked, flipping the next tortilla over in the skillet.

“Um, sure,” Dillon replied.

“Come grab a plate,” Ziggy instructed, feeling Dillon’s reticence towards acting around his father. He held one out and Dillon grasped it firmly as Jakob deposited the tortilla there. He moved off to where Ziggy was standing, and now taking a bite of his burrito—“Take it to the table Ziggy!” Jakob ordered—and scooped out a spoon full of shredded beef, soaking in the juice of peppers and onions, he loaded on his lettuce, tomatoes, onions and guacamole, before he wrapped it up and followed Ziggy to the table.

“You have a good ease with your hands,” Jakob remarked as he began to make his own burrito.

“My dad runs a pizza business, and sometimes he makes my sister and I do a couple of hours there on the weekends and during the weeknights,” Dillon explained.

“And he’s a mechanic,” Ziggy said, taking a large bit of his burrito.

“Where did you hear that?” Dillon asked as he took a seat cattycorner to Ziggy, Jakob sitting across from him.

“I heard Deus say that you’re one of the ones in the class working towards your certification,” Ziggy explained, once he swallowed enough of his food to talk.

“What are you planning on doing at university, Dillon?” Jakob asked. “Any thoughts one where you’ll go?”

“I have a couple of schools in mind, but I want to do something with physics and engineering. Maybe something with more, pure numbers than that,” Dillon said. “I’m applying to Minds and MIT, but I do have a few others just in case.”

“Physics and engineering, two very quantitative degrees,” Jakob remarked, taking a bite of his food.

“I get it from my father,” Dillon retorted. “He does the same—a lot of ground breaking research actually, some even for the government from what he can tell us.”

“That I do know, I’ve heard of Dr. R.J. Foster,” Jakob replied.

“He said he had heard of you too,” Dillon said. “What’s so hush hush about what you do any way, Mr. Grover?”

“I kill people,” Jakob remarked, licking a trail of juice making its way down his thumb.

“Dad!” Ziggy exclaimed. Dillon noticed his burrito was already gone. “Don’t say things like that.”

“And what if they’re true?” Jakob asked. “Then should I not say them.”

“They aren’t true,” Ziggy told him. “If they were you would have told me honestly when I asked what you did years ago.” Over a mouth full of food Jakob nodded towards him with a smile. “That doesn’t mean he isn’t black ops or anything, Dillon, because he is.”

“That I am, so you know if I wanted you to disappear for whatever reason, such as you gave my son unbelievable heart break, I could make it happen,” Jakob explained. “And you may call me Jak, by the way, nearly everyone does, anyway.” Jakob—Jak as he was now to Dillon’s internal monologue—smiled at him and stared him down with sky blue eyes. Dillon stared back, but from the corner of his eye, he saw Ziggy lean back in his chair and smile. The phone rang, and Ziggy stood, announcing,

“I’ll get it,” before either of them had a chance to break their concentration. A few moments later, Jak looked over his shoulder when Ziggy said, “Oh, hi Mother.” Dillon say him blink a few times, before he stood, and went around the kitchen, to where Dillon could only guess. “Yeah, how has Africa been? Wait they’re talking about extending your shoot? Where? Oh, wow, that’s pretty big. How long would it be?” Ziggy paused for quite a while at that answer. “No, nothing’s wrong. I swear! Dad, I mean it, nothing is wrong. It doesn’t matter. Fine! The battle of the bands is in a month or so and I wanted you both to be there to see it, but I didn’t want you to feel pressured into going.

Ziggy paused, probably listening, before he said, “No, I think you should stay for as long as the shoot takes, so that all of the poverty can be recognized and everything. Why should my middle class existence take away from poor, improvised children around the world? Anyway, can we talk about it later, I have a guest. Yeah, no, Mother, you would like him. You see, even Dad agrees with me. You can meet him when you get back. I’ll leave you and Dad to it.” Ziggy hung the rotary phone back up on its hook, and turned toward Dillon, who tried to munch casually on his burrito, pretending not to take notice. Ziggy smiled at him and sauntered back over to the table as Dillon finished up the last bits of his burrito and suck beef juice from his fingers.

Ziggy came in close, pressing their noses together. “Do you know what I am thinking at this very moment?” he asked.

“I couldn’t say that I do,” Dillon replied. Ziggy smiled, and leaned forward to kiss him for the barest instant.

“Then come and find out.” Dillon took a moment as Ziggy continued his saunter into his bedroom, before he leapt from the table and practically ran to follow Ziggy into the bedroom. They collided, Dillon slamming Ziggy into the foot board of the bed as Ziggy reached for him, and they crashed their lips together. Ziggy pushed him back, effectively slamming the door closed with Dillon’s back. Dillon growled a little, pushing back, but somehow just far enough to land in the unoccupied space of the room, where Ziggy plucked at Dillon’s tee-shirt, lifting it part of the way over Dillon’s head, before the tall man had to finish the job himself, before he pulled of Ziggy’s button down and undershirt in one swoop. Dillon held him tight to kiss him breathless, but Ziggy pulled away after only a moment. “I need to know how far you want to take this, because I don’t want you to be scared.”

“I’m not scared,” Dillon panted. “I’m not scared at all, how far can we go?” He kissed Ziggy again, but Ziggy pulled away.

“You say that now, but I want you to tell me if you get uncomfortable, or you don’t want to do something. Anything at all, even if it’s something simple, okay, just tell me and I’ll—” Dillon kissed Ziggy, cutting him off.

“I don’t want to stop, I just want to know you like this,” Dillon said pressing their foreheads together. “I’m not like that last guy you dated, okay? I want this. I think I want this more than I’ve really, honest to God wanted anything ever before, and I mean that, okay?” Ziggy wrapped his arms around Dillon’s neck and kissed him soundly. He pulled away to ask,

“Are you sure,” as he pulled the leather of Dillon’s belt through its shiny, silver buckle. Dillon smiled, and reached for Ziggy’s belt, doing the same.

“I’m sure. Positive. I want you.” As one, they moved, kissing, pulling at belts, and letting pants slide off until only two scrapes of clothe remained between them and bare flesh. Dillon picked Ziggy up, the smaller man balancing on his hips before Dillon deposited him on the bed, climbing up after him. Ziggy writhed beneath him, like something Dillon had never felt before, rubbing their cocks together with the most unfucking believable friction, Dillon thought he could melt, but instead he held Ziggy by the shoulders, kissed him, did not stop kissing him, and found the rhythm between them, to rock back and forth together, getting hot and sweaty and he was fairly sure part of them was sticking together, but he really didn’t car because this was the greatest thing he had ever felt before in his life.

Ziggy broke them apart, and rolled Dillon to the bottom, not saying a word, but never breaking their eye contact, as he hooked his fingers into the elastic of his briefs and pushed them down, revealing himself completely Dillon. “Can I?” he breathed.

“Yes,” Dillon croaked. “Yes, please.” Ziggy slid Dillon’s black briefs down the larger man’s thighs, until he could through them off somewhere else in the room. Dillon leaned up, and they meshed together again, kissing and rubbing and this time touching too, because Ziggy’s hands explored all of him, and Dillon wanted to do the same of him, to let Ziggy feel what he was feeling right not. He digs his fingers into the clefts of Ziggy’s ass, and suckles on the other man’s shoulder, occasionally grazing his teeth there. Ziggy moans and groans, and Dillon shifts them back to laying down, because he’s ready and he thinks Ziggy’s ready too, and wanting, and calling out Dillon’s name way too much as he begins to rock back and forth rubbing them together so divinely.

“Dillon,” he cries, his fingers digging into Dillon’s back. Dillon thinks for an instant how this must be like every sex scene ever told, but he doesn’t care, because it’s his and Ziggy’s and he’s going to enjoy it for all the fuck that it’s worth. And he does not care if it’s cliché when he calls out Ziggy’s name while he comes, or that he sees stars when he does, all he cares about is how he feels and how Ziggy feels beneath him, and how glad he is that Ziggy came too, because he thinks he nearly forgot to help with that.

He shifted off, still kissing and sucking at Ziggy’s neck, to the point where it’s red, turning a little purple now. Ziggy reached up and around him, to dim the lights in the room to where they are almost out.

“Can I ask you something?” Dillon nearly whispered in the near dark.

“Something more, you mean?” Ziggy inquired with a grin.

“Yeah, something more,” Dillon agreed. “Sure.”

“Yeah…okay.”

“Can I ask about him? The boyfriend who left you for a girl?” Ziggy sighed, blowing air against his cheek.

“Only if I get to ask about Summer Landsdown,” he finally replied. Dillon sighed too, but began,

“Summer…At the risk of sounding like a bad teen movie, Summer wasn’t really like any girl I met before. I mean, a couple of years ago, I would have never gone out with her, just on principle, because she was a bitch a couple of years ago, but we met up towards the end of last year, and she was cool. We started hanging out, and then we started dating, and then one day, before she left for an early exchange to France, she told me that she needed to break up with me, not because she didn’t like me or anything, but because I needed to be broken up with. She said that she knew something about me I had yet to discover.” They breathed together for a moment, situating themselves on the bed, before Ziggy began,

“Brody was the kind of guy who would sit in the back of the classroom and never get noticed. There really wasn’t anything special about him per say, but he was sweet, and I take in the lost and unnoticed as you know. And one day I just asked him out. At the time, I guess I liked him, but I really see that he just went out with me because I paid attention to him. He was kind of like a goldfish, as long as he was fed and watered he loved you. But then a girl who doesn't like me, decided she wanted to sleep with him, so he broke up with me.”

Ziggy shifted a little more so that they were lying face to face. “If I’m honest though, I was mad, but I wasn’t heart broken. Because Dad tells this story about how when he met Mother, there were electric currents running through his veins. And he said that his mother knew, and her father knew and his mother knew when they would be looking at the person they would spend forever with. And when I looked at Brody, I just didn’t feel that.” The words hung between them, thick in the air, Ziggy waiting for permission to say it. Dillon reached out, and slid his hand from Ziggy’s bare chest up to his neck, where he rubbed Ziggy jaw with his thumb. “I felt that when I saw you,” Ziggy confessed, his voice crackling.

“I think that’s what it was, that made me want to track you down for weeks,” Dillon’s said before he could think about it. He knew it was true though, so he made no sound to amend the statement. “Is it possible to love someone before you really know them.”

“It’s possible, but it’s never easy,” Ziggy said. “If we want this, if we really want it, we have to realize that it’s going to hard, it’s going to take work and no one, regardless if they are going to be together is perfectly compatible.”

“Mmm… and you’re quoting your dad again?” Dillon asked.

“Try every member of his family, ever,” Ziggy said. “I’m sleepy, do you want to sleep?”

“Yeah,” Dillon agreed. “Let’s sleep.” And wrapped up in each other, that’s exactly what they did.
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drownedinlight

December 2018

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